So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
