remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
