I CAN MOONWALK!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
