Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
