I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
