you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
BRING THE BAGELS
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
