How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
