So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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