Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
