I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
