Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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