Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
