After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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