it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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