Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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