i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
