Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
