I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize