Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize