Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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