bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
