What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
