i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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