I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
