He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
