i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
