do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
