hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
