Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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