...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
