fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
