Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
