And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
