so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
