Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I looked at my own cervix.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
