Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
What a dumb baby whore.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
