thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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