I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
