please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
