Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
