i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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