Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
