do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
