it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
