I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize