I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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