if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
