very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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