the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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