Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we're making bets on your personal life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Randomize
