I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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