i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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