pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
