well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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