i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Couch. On fire.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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