Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
